your WAY OUT OF THE FUCKIN' way house, just to see if i could remember.

and i could.

as i was getting into "i haven't been here in over 6 years" territory, i started singing that smashingpumpkins' song 'rocket'.

i miIIIiiiss, me...
i miIIIiiss, ev-ry think, i'll never beEEE!!!

fuck man, it was intense. it was almost mildly mind-altering.

i drove right up to your house, which is a little different to what it used to be. a 100 metre driveway on plenty of acreage is now a new housing estate. i drove up and caught a glimpse of your house. is it limestone? i can't remember...i really fuckin' can't.

memories fuckin' flooded back, and i kinda felt sick.

it was an awesome buzz. it was like i was NEARLY 18 again. it was fuckin' awesome...WAY fuckin' awesome...i wish i sent you a postcard from thailand or something. sometimes i remember things -- quite literally -- five months too late...

i thought for a little about what it was that attracted me to do this. and i kept on thinking...

it has nothing to do with 'missing' you.
nor has it anything to do with 'reminiscing'.
it has more to do with 'connecting' with a 'me' which is six years past his used-by date...

things make sense.